See Me… Hear Me… Love Me.
Photo Credit: MICHAEL MISTRETTA
There are various ways you may be in contact with children. You may be a parent, have children in your family or like myself, work with children. No matter your contribution to their lives, take time to reflect and ask yourself: “What am I doing to make them feel seen, heard and loved?” I challenge you to take a short moment to truly reflect on these questions. If you answered something along the lines of “I teach them so of course I see them” or “I get them the toys they wanted for their birthday so of course they feel heard” or even “I pay the bills and make sure that they’re clothed and fed so of course they feel loved”. This may be a hard pill to swallow but THAT’S NOT ENOUGH.
It’s extremely easy to be so consumed in the “adult” or “in charge” role that we do all of the talking. We give commands and we operate with the “my way or highway” frame of mind. With the challenges of work, responsibilities and now dealing with a global pandemic, it’s understandable. You may have had a long day of work, you may not be feeling well or even stressed due to having to be quarantined, and that’s human nature. I encourage you to think of how you’re impacted dealing with it all and imagine how much more of that stress, anxiety or depression your children feel from dealing with everything and not completely understanding what’s going on.
Once you’re able to reflect and think of how many times, your child/student/family member have been silenced, ignored or overlooked (even if it’s done unintentionally) there’s a step to take. This step although simple, is major. This step is significant because every time a child is ignored, it takes away from their growth, talent and expression. It dims their light and causes them to shrink. This step to take is to ACTIVELY COMMUNICATE. Don’t just talk but listen and do so, intentionally.
Take the time to learn and truly understand what your child/student/family member needs from you to feel loved. Actually ask what they need from you, listen and take in account what the child says to you. Then, apply it to your everyday lives. Build a routine including quality time in your schedule. You’d be astonished how far a hug, drawing a picture together, reading a story, going on a walk, watching a show/movie together, or just a short uninterrupted talk where you listen, could go. That child would grow, learn, flourish and feel safe. Not only that but actively communicating will cause the child to feel seen, heard and overall… LOVED.
Stay safe, healthy and be kind to yourselves.